Mirror Mirror

Driving home from the store this morning I thought, I wonder how fast I’d have to go to make my side mirrors flap back against the side of the truck? I cogitated on the question for a moment – gathering up the variables in my mind – wind force, air resistance, mirror bracket tension, barometric pressure, relative humidity, and so forth… Heck, just give ‘em all a number – add, divide, and multiply in all the right places – maybe throw in a square root or two, and “POW!” you got your vehicle speed. But I’m not very good at doin’ algebra in my head, so I skipped ahead to the practicality considerations of the matter. If I’m driving fast enough to make my mirrors flap back, I’m probably not gonna need my mirrors - so no reason not to do it… Unless the guy behind me is trying to make his hood ornament fly off, but that would be highly unusual, so I figured I wouldn’t worry about that. At this point of my pondering, I was just cresting the top of Graham Hill – the perfect place to try to go 900mph in a Toyota Tundra. Should I? Shouldn't I? then I realized – if my mirrors flap back, the improved aerodynamics would likely propel me beyond 1,000mph in an instant. Well that would surely add a mile or two to my stopping distance should a rabbit jump out in front of me… not to mention I’d blow past my turn up ahead… So I proceeded home at my normal speed. Up near 288th Street I saw a hood ornament laying on the side of the road… I know what you’re thinkin’…  Man! He must have been flying!

R.L. Johnson, 2020