Monday, February 23, 2015

Today's Headlines and Comments

I haven’t done one of these in a while, so here goes...

“Today’s Actual Headlines”
(plus my comments):

“Earthquake in central Spain shakes buildings in Madrid”
(In a related story “Arrow in center of target pokes hole in bullseye.”)

“Nepal pledges to improve climbing conditions on Everest”
(Mountain to be lowered and paved by 2018.)

“Honda to replace its president following air bag fiasco”
(Whoopee Cushion deployments hilarious, but dozens killed in mix up.)

And in local news:

“Man was posing for photograph when train struck him”
(This one should read, “World’s worst photographer uses wrong shutter speed.”)

“South Park Bridge stuck in the open position; detour advised”
(But not mandatory, so you're free to step on the gas and repeat, “I think I can make it, I think I can...”)

“Seattle tunnel machine breaks through wall into rescue pit”
(Seahawks sign Bertha to $10 mil. contract to use in short yardage situations.)

Note: In case Seattle's troubled tunnel maching hasn't made headlines in your newspaper, the machine's nickname is "Bertha"