Chapter One (Which begins with a very long sentence)
As a lethargic Lois Lane, now likely late for the luau, was
laying languidly in the leaves of the landscape on Lower Lena Loop Lane behind
the lanai of the library with a lacerated leg and a lost left loafer, but
otherwise looking lovely (Despite being in her sixties now, Lois always looked
lovely); Clark Kent was cavorting at a cautious cadence (as a man who was once
very spry and adept at cavorting would tend to do after reaching the age of
seventy) carrying a container of caramel creamers across the carpet of his cozy
cabin in search of a cup of coffee last seen on the kitchen counter. Lamenting
her lousy luck Lois labored to locate her lost loafer. Little did she know, it
had landed on the lawn of the librarian Lill, just up the hill, where she took
her spill.
The clock struck seven.
Chapter Two (Where Superman is called into action)
Clark, craving caffeine, was completely unaware of Lois’
location, or situation, and in his frustration he had forgotten all about the
luau he was supposed to attend that evening. His memory was failing and his alliteration was slipping badly, but a
couple recent rhymes seemed to buoy his spirits.
Suddenly Clark thought he heard a familiar cry coming from
outside. Through the double doors and onto the deck he dashed deliberately,
followed by a dubious dachshund dubbed Dagmar. The fresh air felt exhilarating,
and even seemed to perk up his alliteration a bit. Dagmar remained dubious.
Clark’s cabin, on the crest of Cooper Canyon, was within
earshot of Lower Lena Loop Lane which ran along the Cooper Canyon Creek
directly below. He heard the cry again. Having dashed enough for one evening,
Clark hurriedly dawdled back inside to the closet where he found his old cape
and tights. “This is a job for Superman!” he announced to Dagmar.
The last phone booth in Cooper County had been removed
several years ago, so Supe slipped into the bathroom and squeezed into the now
iconic red and blue outfit. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror Clark
noticed the outfit needed to be let out a little in the seat. He made a mental
note to stop by the cleaners in the morning.
A few minutes later back on the deck Clark was trying to
remember why he went out there. Then Superman thought he heard a familiar cry.
To the railing he rushed, and with one hand cupped behind his ear he leaned out
and listened. Hearing nothing but ear hair rustling in the wind, he leaned out a little farther.
Chapter Three: (The rescue)
Lois pulled Superman out of the hedge. “That was quite a
fall you took,” she said, helping him to his feet.
“I flew,” he corrected her.
“Yes, maybe, but all the same it was quite a crash.”
“I’m a little out of practice,” Superman answered. Then as
he brushed himself off he added, “I’m here to rescue you. Oh, and I saw a brown
ladies loafer on my way down the hill. Is that yours?”
“Yes. Thank you it is,” she said, wiping the injured leg
with her kerchief.
As they walked up the hill together Lois began explaining
what had happened. “I was just stopping to pick up Lilith,” she said, “and I
slipped on the wet grass and fell over the bank. Oh goodness, I’ve made us
late! We were supposed to meet Clark at the luau.”
“Oh crap!” blurted Superman, “I mean…”
“Hello!” called Lilith, waving from her porch. “What
happened?”
Chapter 4 (The Conclusion)
After assuring Lois that he’d explain the whole situation to
Clark, Superman began the long trudge up the hill. “Don’t rush!” he called
back, “and take care of that knee. That could get infected!”
“What was that all about?” asked Lilith, “and why is Clark
wearing that ridiculous costume?”
“It’s a long story,” answered Lois.
