I knew I was in trouble the moment that cop looked inside my truck. There I was, caught red-handed with a back seat full of empty whisky bottles. I had no choice but to confess: “Yes officer, all those are mine. Gas prices are so high I’ve been pouring Jack Daniel's into my gas tank to save money.” I was immediately escorted to nearest Emission Inspection Station where my truck blew a .19. I feel sorry for the cop. He has no idea what to do next.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Roses are Red 2012
My updated version of the classic American poem Roses are Red:
The first and last line remain unchanged. Only the middle has been altered slightly
Roses Are Red (2012)
Roses are red.
This much is true,
But the rest of the poem
They just didn’t think through.
Violets are violet,
But that wouldn’t do
‘cause that rhymes with pilot.
It don’t rhyme with you.
You can’t fly a plane
So why would I express
My love for a pilot
And cause you distress?
A poem that did that
Would not be a success,
So I need something blue
If I want to impress.
A hydrangea maybe,
But that’s a difficult rhyme,
Besides they aren’t even blue
Half of the time.
And they’re not very vivid
Except in their prime,
So hydrangea’s out
I need something sublime.
Like the sky or the ocean
But that’s so overused,
And of such overuse
I shall not be accused.
I will think up a word
That will leave you enthused,
And failing at that
I will shoot for amused.
And when that is done
I will fix the next part.
That “sugar is sweet” line
Is no work of art.
I need something sweeter
To get to your heart,
But high fructose corn syrup
Just isn’t smart.
How ‘bout syrup or Splenda?
Perhaps Sweet ‘n Low.
Do any of those choices
Make your cheeks glow?
Would one make you want to be
My steady beau?
Or should I just uncork
A sweet red Bordeaux?
Oh wait… It just came to me!
Now the whole poem is true,
And it comes from the heart
So I hope this will do:
Roses are red.
The fifth color from the top of a rainbow is blue.
Those little nectar pouches on honey bee legs are sweet,
And so are you!
The first and last line remain unchanged. Only the middle has been altered slightly
Roses Are Red (2012)
Roses are red.
This much is true,
But the rest of the poem
They just didn’t think through.
Violets are violet,
But that wouldn’t do
‘cause that rhymes with pilot.
It don’t rhyme with you.
You can’t fly a plane
So why would I express
My love for a pilot
And cause you distress?
A poem that did that
Would not be a success,
So I need something blue
If I want to impress.
A hydrangea maybe,
But that’s a difficult rhyme,
Besides they aren’t even blue
Half of the time.
And they’re not very vivid
Except in their prime,
So hydrangea’s out
I need something sublime.
Like the sky or the ocean
But that’s so overused,
And of such overuse
I shall not be accused.
I will think up a word
That will leave you enthused,
And failing at that
I will shoot for amused.
And when that is done
I will fix the next part.
That “sugar is sweet” line
Is no work of art.
I need something sweeter
To get to your heart,
But high fructose corn syrup
Just isn’t smart.
How ‘bout syrup or Splenda?
Perhaps Sweet ‘n Low.
Do any of those choices
Make your cheeks glow?
Would one make you want to be
My steady beau?
Or should I just uncork
A sweet red Bordeaux?
Oh wait… It just came to me!
Now the whole poem is true,
And it comes from the heart
So I hope this will do:
Roses are red.
The fifth color from the top of a rainbow is blue.
Those little nectar pouches on honey bee legs are sweet,
And so are you!
Monday, February 6, 2012
New photos are up... click over there →
If anyone's interested...
Photos of our recent ice storm are now posted in Moody's Photo Album.
Best viewed with hot chocolate!
Photos of our recent ice storm are now posted in Moody's Photo Album.
Best viewed with hot chocolate!
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