Monday, February 6, 2017
Rat-tat-tat-fact! (Alternative Fiction)
I got into an argument the Sean Spicer this afternoon. He kept telling me lies. I tried to be polite, but nothing that comes out of that man's mouth is honest. So I decided to shoot him some facts to set him straight. I loaded up a few rounds and let him have it, “Rat-tat-tat-fact! Rat-tat-tat-fact!” I thought I saw him wince, so I kept firing. “Rat-tat-tat-fact! Rat-tat-tat-fact! Rat-tat-tat-fact,” I continued. But he just stood there. I looked down at the floor. There were fact-casings lying all over the place. Then I took a closer look at Sean. There were dozens of facts embedded in his jacket, but none had penetrated. That’s when I realized the White House Press Secretary wears a fact-proof vest. So in a last-ditch effort to make a point, I looked at him right between the eyes and said, “It is a Muslim ban Sean”. The truth went through and through. No part of his brain seemed to be affected. He finished his beer and left the bar… And left me wondering, what in the world could motivate a man to be so blatantly dishonest.